To Pee, or Not To Pee? THAT is the question. At least, it is in our household.
I have supreme bragging rights on my son, A, who has been in cotton undies for a whole month now. He stays dry 99% of the time during the daytime -- I can count his "#1" accidents during the last month on one hand, and have fingers left over. Even as recently as the New Year, A would/could not do this. We've tried the cotton undies before and had very messy results. We're just so glad that something is finally clicking with him about the toileting, even if it's taken 6 1/2 years to do it.
We are still working on the #2 aspect, though. If he's in briefs, this is not such a big deal (even though it is very messy). We took a gamble and lost when we combined boxer-style undies and a pair of shorts one day. He was at home when we became aware that that combination was not a good one. Nothing some good ol' Chlorox can't handle, both in the laundry and on the floor.
Overall, A has done an outstanding job with keeping himself pretty clean. As frustrating as the streaks of fecal material (and sometimes a little extra) are in his underwear, his daddy and I also realize that A really can't help some of it. Some of it. There are times when he knows he has to go, and will bypass the bathroom to go hide in his closet to do his business. Z and I are still trying to figure out a way to effectively discourage this activity, short of super-gluing our child to the toilet seat. The last option, while effective in one regard, does have its obvious limitations.
We are still having some issues with overnight bed-wetting, which happens 3 or 4 days out of the week. Z and I finally went out and got some nighttime pants, for nocturnal use only, just to save us from washing blankets, sheets, pillows, and mattress covers every single day. Our aging septic pit can't handle large quantities of water, we have to space out showers/baths, dishes, and laundry over the course of the day. Adding two more laundry loads per day was maxing out our system, so it was the better part of valor to suck it up and buy the disposables for overnight use.
As wonderfully as A has been doing, his sister has decided to take a very different course. She has started peeing in her panties again. We're not entirely sure why she is regressing all of a sudden. I'm wondering if my going back to work about a month ago has anything to do with it, since that is about the time we started having these issues. K was totally embarrassed this weekend -- twice -- because she peed herself in public, so we're hoping that will help solve the situation.
The first time she did it, we were working with the youth. I had told her to go to the bathroom as soon as we reached the building and she ignored me; then she peed in her pants about 10 minutes later. I did not have a change of clothes with me, so she had to stay in the (tile floored) bathroom by herself for 3 hours. I couldn't have her sitting on the carpet or upholstered seats in her wet pee clothing, and I wasn't going to let her run around naked in front of a bunch of teenagers.
The second time was during church the next morning; the ladies teaching her class had no choice but to put her in a "baby diaper" (K's words, not mine). K was especially miffed because they were boy pants with Spiderman on them.
Let's hope that did the trick.
Showing posts with label potty training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label potty training. Show all posts
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Triumph!!
As of this entry, my son has kept his underwear clean and dry for the fourth day in a row! Mind, these are normal, cotton undies -- not the disposable ones. Earlier attempts to use regular underwear have come to (very) bad ends...and messy ones, at that. At this point, however, we simply can not buy him any more and are doing a lot of finger-crossing and praying.
A made it through Thursday evening at church, through school all day on Friday, and was away from home on Saturday about half the day and home the rest. All dry and clean. He made it through church this morning, and lunch, and it's now mid-afternoon. He has also slept in them overnight, and had no issues. Woo hoo!! I am so unbelievably proud of my kiddo. (I realize that if you're new to this site, you may think that this is not much of a big deal. I assure you, it is to us).
I'm really hoping the diaper bag days are (finally) at a close, albeit about 4 years later than most parents get to do it. The average age for autistic children to be potty trained is actually 5, so we're not doing too badly. A is six and a half.
It's been a rough go up to this point. There were tears on both our parts at various stages in the game, his because we were altering his routine and he simply did NOT want to do it, mine because I was so, so very frustrated to be cleaning the poopy butt of a stubborn 6-yr old kid that ran past the bathroom to go hide in a corner and poop in his pants.
Poop gets much more potent the older you get (why,yes; you may call me Captain Obvious). Two-yr-olds are starting the smelly process, but are also generally potty trained around that time and it's flushed down the toilet. My son has had years to perfect his "aromatic bouquet", and also perfect his bathroom-dodging techniques. It takes a full scrubdown with multiple wipes or a washcloth to get the caked-on poop off his butt after he's sat on it. I can say with absolute certainty that changing an older child's dirty underwear is a much different animal than changing a toddler's dirty underwear -- more mess, more smell.
BUT! Hopefully that is all behind us now!
Yay.
A made it through Thursday evening at church, through school all day on Friday, and was away from home on Saturday about half the day and home the rest. All dry and clean. He made it through church this morning, and lunch, and it's now mid-afternoon. He has also slept in them overnight, and had no issues. Woo hoo!! I am so unbelievably proud of my kiddo. (I realize that if you're new to this site, you may think that this is not much of a big deal. I assure you, it is to us).
I'm really hoping the diaper bag days are (finally) at a close, albeit about 4 years later than most parents get to do it. The average age for autistic children to be potty trained is actually 5, so we're not doing too badly. A is six and a half.
It's been a rough go up to this point. There were tears on both our parts at various stages in the game, his because we were altering his routine and he simply did NOT want to do it, mine because I was so, so very frustrated to be cleaning the poopy butt of a stubborn 6-yr old kid that ran past the bathroom to go hide in a corner and poop in his pants.
Poop gets much more potent the older you get (why,yes; you may call me Captain Obvious). Two-yr-olds are starting the smelly process, but are also generally potty trained around that time and it's flushed down the toilet. My son has had years to perfect his "aromatic bouquet", and also perfect his bathroom-dodging techniques. It takes a full scrubdown with multiple wipes or a washcloth to get the caked-on poop off his butt after he's sat on it. I can say with absolute certainty that changing an older child's dirty underwear is a much different animal than changing a toddler's dirty underwear -- more mess, more smell.
BUT! Hopefully that is all behind us now!
Yay.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
On the Brink
Things are looking up at the H house!
For starters, our son, A, has finally started completing his work at school. Much to the delight and surprise of his teacher, I might add. I'm not entirely sure she believed me when I told her he could read, spell, and write because A has flat-out refused to do most of his work this year.
In the last month or so, he has started filling out his writing sheets, doing his addition and subtraction, and been generally behaving himself in the classroom. Yay! This is a relief not only for his teacher, but also for me and Z. Knowing your son can do things, but having a stubborn child who refuses to do things for anyone but mom and dad is not a good combination when there are special needs in the mix. The teacher can only assess his abilities on her observations and experiences, not what A does when he's at home.
We're still having an issue with how they do the testing, as a good portion of it is verbal and our son is NOT overly verbal. He has made great strides, and can hold mini-conversations with Z and I, and a few other close friends, but on an over-all scale he is nowhere close to his peers. A's mini-conversations tend to be sentence fragments, rather than entire grammatically correct sentences, but we understand what he's trying to convey and are just glad he's making the effort. We can tell that it takes an enormous amount of concentration and energy to do what he is able to do, and as long as he's doing his best (and not being a lazy butt) we're fine with that.
Our son is, by the way, a lazy butt if he thinks he can get away with it -- he'll try to see if he can get out of doing whatever someone requests by ignoring them, or starting to stim while watching them out of the corner of his eye. If you're firm with him, and tell him to do whatever it is again, he'll stop stimming, sigh, and then actually do what he was asked to do. The key is knowing when A is trying to get out of doing something, and when he's genuinely stimming or off in his own world. The people that have figured the differences out, understandably, are the ones who spend the most time with him -- and since A is mainstreamed in a "normal" kindergarten classroom, his teacher's attention is divided between A and the other 17 kids in the class. As the year has progressed, she's figuring out A's cues.
In other news, our son has worn regular cotton undies for two days straight without any incident. We still have to prompt him, as he rarely volunteers to go to the bathroom on his own, but he has done a terrific job keeping his pants clean and dry. Of course, he also hasn't pooped in two days, so the streaking has not been an issue.
Our son, like a lot of autistic children, has some muscular weaknesses throughout his body. In addition to his fine-motor skills in his hands, he also lacks some core strength and bowel strength. In our research and conversations with other parents of autistic children, a lot of auties have issues with constipation and impaction. We have to make sure we feed A lots of foods that "make him go", such as sweet potatoes, spinach, and grapes, and try to avoid foods that stop you up, such as bananas, apples and apple juice, and cheese or yogurt. We also have to periodically give him an oral laxative and insert suppositories. If these don't work, then we have to do an old-fashioned enema.
The upside is, these things do what they're supposed to and things get moved on through. The downside is, if we don't do these things, he gets impacted and that means a trip to the hospital. AND another downside is, the more we have to resort to these measures, the less his bowels will do the work on their own; they become dependent on the laxatives and enemas.
"Poop" is a regular topic of conversation around here. Just keepin' it real, this is some of what we deal with on a daily basis.
On the non-crappy side of things, I started a new job this week! Fate had a conversation with irony and arranged this one for me: I was eligible for all sorts of state and federal assistance programs until I started my new job, and now I help people with their applications for those same programs. I have been blessed with the opportunity to help people who are -- literally -- where I just was, last week.
I know (some of) what they're going through, so I think I'm really going to enjoy parts of this job. Everyone has a unique story, and I know what a blessing and relief it is when your family is taken care of. The parts I won't enjoy are in there, too, as there are some clients who have some....interesting philosophies...regarding entitlement issues and how to improve one's financial position, and I am going to have to tell some people "no" and deal with the fall-out. Luckily for me, I am not making the final decision on the eligibility issues, so I don't have to sweat or fret about making the right or wrong decision, I just have to let them know what the decision is. It won't help me when I have to tell someone I would love to help "no", though.
I'm going to have to learn how to emotionally distance myself from our clients, or I'm going to have a lot of heartbreak and bad days. This is not to say I can't be compassionate or caring, those qualities must be shown to everyone to provide dignity and respect to the client. I just can't cry every time I have to turn someone away who is in desperate need. And I also can't get mad or too frustrated if I get a client who is obviously lying and trying to pull a fast one, like yesterday.
There will be a learning curve, but I'm glad to both have a job, and have a job where I can help people at a time when they need it most.
For starters, our son, A, has finally started completing his work at school. Much to the delight and surprise of his teacher, I might add. I'm not entirely sure she believed me when I told her he could read, spell, and write because A has flat-out refused to do most of his work this year.
In the last month or so, he has started filling out his writing sheets, doing his addition and subtraction, and been generally behaving himself in the classroom. Yay! This is a relief not only for his teacher, but also for me and Z. Knowing your son can do things, but having a stubborn child who refuses to do things for anyone but mom and dad is not a good combination when there are special needs in the mix. The teacher can only assess his abilities on her observations and experiences, not what A does when he's at home.
We're still having an issue with how they do the testing, as a good portion of it is verbal and our son is NOT overly verbal. He has made great strides, and can hold mini-conversations with Z and I, and a few other close friends, but on an over-all scale he is nowhere close to his peers. A's mini-conversations tend to be sentence fragments, rather than entire grammatically correct sentences, but we understand what he's trying to convey and are just glad he's making the effort. We can tell that it takes an enormous amount of concentration and energy to do what he is able to do, and as long as he's doing his best (and not being a lazy butt) we're fine with that.
Our son is, by the way, a lazy butt if he thinks he can get away with it -- he'll try to see if he can get out of doing whatever someone requests by ignoring them, or starting to stim while watching them out of the corner of his eye. If you're firm with him, and tell him to do whatever it is again, he'll stop stimming, sigh, and then actually do what he was asked to do. The key is knowing when A is trying to get out of doing something, and when he's genuinely stimming or off in his own world. The people that have figured the differences out, understandably, are the ones who spend the most time with him -- and since A is mainstreamed in a "normal" kindergarten classroom, his teacher's attention is divided between A and the other 17 kids in the class. As the year has progressed, she's figuring out A's cues.
In other news, our son has worn regular cotton undies for two days straight without any incident. We still have to prompt him, as he rarely volunteers to go to the bathroom on his own, but he has done a terrific job keeping his pants clean and dry. Of course, he also hasn't pooped in two days, so the streaking has not been an issue.
Our son, like a lot of autistic children, has some muscular weaknesses throughout his body. In addition to his fine-motor skills in his hands, he also lacks some core strength and bowel strength. In our research and conversations with other parents of autistic children, a lot of auties have issues with constipation and impaction. We have to make sure we feed A lots of foods that "make him go", such as sweet potatoes, spinach, and grapes, and try to avoid foods that stop you up, such as bananas, apples and apple juice, and cheese or yogurt. We also have to periodically give him an oral laxative and insert suppositories. If these don't work, then we have to do an old-fashioned enema.
The upside is, these things do what they're supposed to and things get moved on through. The downside is, if we don't do these things, he gets impacted and that means a trip to the hospital. AND another downside is, the more we have to resort to these measures, the less his bowels will do the work on their own; they become dependent on the laxatives and enemas.
"Poop" is a regular topic of conversation around here. Just keepin' it real, this is some of what we deal with on a daily basis.
On the non-crappy side of things, I started a new job this week! Fate had a conversation with irony and arranged this one for me: I was eligible for all sorts of state and federal assistance programs until I started my new job, and now I help people with their applications for those same programs. I have been blessed with the opportunity to help people who are -- literally -- where I just was, last week.
I know (some of) what they're going through, so I think I'm really going to enjoy parts of this job. Everyone has a unique story, and I know what a blessing and relief it is when your family is taken care of. The parts I won't enjoy are in there, too, as there are some clients who have some....interesting philosophies...regarding entitlement issues and how to improve one's financial position, and I am going to have to tell some people "no" and deal with the fall-out. Luckily for me, I am not making the final decision on the eligibility issues, so I don't have to sweat or fret about making the right or wrong decision, I just have to let them know what the decision is. It won't help me when I have to tell someone I would love to help "no", though.
I'm going to have to learn how to emotionally distance myself from our clients, or I'm going to have a lot of heartbreak and bad days. This is not to say I can't be compassionate or caring, those qualities must be shown to everyone to provide dignity and respect to the client. I just can't cry every time I have to turn someone away who is in desperate need. And I also can't get mad or too frustrated if I get a client who is obviously lying and trying to pull a fast one, like yesterday.
There will be a learning curve, but I'm glad to both have a job, and have a job where I can help people at a time when they need it most.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Glimpses of Sunlight
A has been making some great strides in some areas, and not-so-great strides in other areas. But, Hey! It's progress. A turned 6 about a month ago, and now:
A keeps his pants dry most of the time, now. As in, he's only wet maybe once or twice a week now, and he'll pee in the toilet. He very seldom volunteers to go, though, so we have to prompt him hourly to prevent accidents. He wears normal cotton undies at home, we're trying to get him used to them in the hopes that we'll transition to cotton undies all the time, even out in public. Thankfully, we have wood laminate flooring and vinyl flooring throughout a good portion of the downstairs, and the living room carpet is pretty old already and will be coming out soon (we hope) anyway -- so even when accidents happen, cleaning them up at home is no big deal other than the obvious gross factor. It's just something that we do, like washing dishes or vacuuming.
A still does not have a good control on his rectal sphincter, and commonly streaks in his undies (sometimes with a little extra) throughout the day. Pooping in the toilet is a rare event for us, his muscles just can't seem to do the required pushing all the time. Add in some constipation issues, and it's a recipe for all sorts of bathroom fun. And some occasional fun in other rooms, too. And a lot of laundry. I need to buy stock in the Chlorox corporation, I think I supply a good chunk of their annual profits and want some of it back.
Currently A wears night-time pants (normally used for nocturnal bed wetters) at school and at church, just because he does still have accidents if he's not prompted to go EVERY HOUR. This prompting is not always done by others when we're away from home, so we're trying to save A some embarrassment and prevent teasing or disgust from his classmates. Plus, we don't have enough pairs of pants for him to "go through" each day -- he's only got 5 pairs, total, including jeans and athletic pants. It is much easier on the (overworked) staff to change out underwear designed to hold the mess and keep the outside pants clean, than rinse out cotton undies and multiple pairs of jeans at school. And we can't afford for him to have 4 or 5 different pairs of pants for every day at school.
We still have to give verbal prompts every step of the way: A, go to the bathroom please. Pull your pants down and sit down on the toilet. Wipe your bottom (if needed). Put on your underwear, and then put on your pants. (He likes to strip his bottoms completely to use the toilet). Wash your hands.
We can't give him the entire list of prompts at once; he gets "stuck" on the toilet and waits for a verbal command to wipe his butt, or to put his clothes back on. But he's doing it! The butt wiping is something fairly new that we've been trying, and so far it's had mixed results. A doesn't have good hand dexterity or fine motor skills, so holding toilet paper is difficult for him at the necessary angle to get the job done. He also has a tendency to do some fecal smearing on the walls, his legs, or the toilet seat if he gets any on his hands. It's good that he doesn't want the poop on his hands, but we just haven't been able to convince him to finish up and we'll wash our hands when we finish. (Which we always do anyway).
I usually have to clean up the very last traces that he can't see or reach on his bottom, but he does get most of it cleaned up himself. He also has to clean the "brown artwork", if any, off the walls or toilet seat with a disinfectant wipe. (Again, I generally have to go behind him and finish up). It would be much faster if I did it all for him, but he really needs to learn how to clean up after himself -- and how to do it the right way. Even if it takes a while.
A also still needs help fastening buttons and zippers on his pants. It has not been easy for us to find elastic-waisted jeans for a boy that can wear size 7's in length but is skinny enough for a size 6 -- even slims fall off his butt. I know they're out there, we just haven't found any that work for us yet. So, he wears "normal" zip-fly, button at the waist jeans but has to have assistance getting them on and off. Likewise with the zipper on his winter coat, and tying shoelaces.
A has been doing much better with his writing skills -- he brought home a sheet of paper on Monday that quite legibly said, "I like to read books mommy." I think that one will be kept in a special place, it's the first time we've had anything hand-written that was that clear. He spells things all the time with plastic letters on the fridge, or with the computer, but this is actual writing. With a pencil. His behavior at school is better some days, worse others. A does not like transitions, and he does not like taking turns. Everyone is supposed to do everything in the same order, always, and since A was first at the start of the school year, he still expects to be first to do everything. He's getting educated otherwise, but he's giving the teacher and his aide fits while he's learning it.
I have to be careful with the foods I send for A for his school lunches. Everything needs to be easy to open, and ready to eat. I can't send a whole apple, I have to slice it up and core it or he'll eat the entire thing. I have to cut his sandwich in half to make it easier to pick up, and peel oranges and separate the pieces. If there is a banana, I start the peel at the top so he can grab it and finish. None of those reusable containers work for him, A just can't open them; I use the fold-top plastic sandwich baggies. Not the most environmentally-friendly choice, but it's what needs to happen right now. He does have a reusable thermos for his water, with an easy push-button opening lid.
I still have to cut up his food for him, he can't handle cutting with a knife and fork nor can he just use a fork to cut when necessary. He has gotten a lot better with his spoon usage, he spills very little now. A had a problem with dumping the food halfway to his mouth because he didn't know how to hold the utensils without grasping them completely in his fist, and he'd turn the spoon over trying to get it into his mouth. He still has his textural issues with soups and cereal with milk on it -- he absolutely refuses to eat them. I generally drain as much liquid out of soups as I can before giving him his serving and just give him his cereal dry. He also does not like the flavor of mayonnaise, sour cream or cream cheese (unless it's in a cheesecake) and won't eat certain salads if they look white. This includes tuna, chicken, or fruits. He will eat whipped cream, but usually only if you make him take a bite of it and he figures out that he likes it at that point.
Verbally, we are getting more words out of him than ever before. He saw the leftover snow on Saturday (2 inches) and came up to me late in the afternoon and said, "Red. Boots are red. Put on? Put on green coat. Go outside. Play snow?" Thrilling!!!!!
We don't generally get more than two, maybe three words together at a time. This was a whole paragraph! And yes, we all went outside to play in the snow. A can't make snowballs with his hands, so I have to scoop up some snow and help him form them, hand over hand. He does take great delight in dumping the snow on his sister's head while snickering, so there's something that is refreshingly funny.
We can tell that many of A's brain processes are pretty typical, even if he doesn't talk a lot and has some fine motor skill challenges. He's also got a mischievous streak a mile wide. For example, K fell asleep on the couch yesterday afternoon and A walked over there, looked at her, and began tickling her. She cracked one eye open and screeched, to which A responded with a cocky grin and a chortle. He tickled her again, and K threw out a punch that A dodged easily. Then he whalloped her with a throw pillow. At this point, K is getting more and more upset because all she wants to do is take a nap. A and K got into an all-out fight, complete with feet, pillow whomps, and grappling.
Z and I actually stood back and watched it for a minute before splitting the would-be WWE contenders up, just to revel in the weirdness of what would usually be considered the normalcy for siblings. We stood at the doorway so we could duck out of sight and crack up when we needed to. And of course we stepped in when it became apparent that the kicks and pillows were becoming a tad more forceful and the expressions on both kids' faces started becoming more...determined. I didn't want a UFC experience in my living room, so they were quickly sent to opposite ends of the room to cool off.
Another new development is A's radio. Z's parents got a small CD player/radio for A's birthday, and he loves it. I've taught him how to turn it on, and how to push "play". We haven't quite gotten how to change out CDs yet, but that will come. He listens to his radio all the time. This is great! I'm hoping to get him used to headphones, so we can take a walkman or something with us when we're out around a lot of people. (Shoot, do they even MAKE walkmans any more? We'll get whatever the current thingamabob is. I-Pod?) If we've got music, maybe he won't freak out so much at events like, well, going to the mall.
I know a lady with a 12-yr-old son on the spectrum, and this really works well with her son. She's happy because she can go shopping or take the family to the park for Independence Day, and he doesn't freak out as long as they have his music going. They do take a lot of extra batteries, just in case. We're going to give it a try with A, I just have to figure out how to get him used to headphones. And I also have to find some that are durable enough to withstand A ripping them off initially. Forget the earbuds, we just need the old-fashioned on-ear kind.
I don't know if this would work on an airplane? I know you have to turn off certain electronics for take-off and landing, but don't know if an I-pod would be on that list. I haven't flown in years, so some research is in order. Z and I have been discussing vacation times and seeing family, which are spread from CA to TX to GA. We'd have more visiting time and less travel time if we flew rather than drove, but I really don't know how A would react to the noise and being in close confines with a lot of people. That's at least a year out at this point so we've got plenty of time to figure it all out.
Bottom line is, we're making progress every day. The storms are still there, but we're seeing those gorgeous rays of sun break though at the most unexpected times, and we're enjoying getting to know our son every day.
A keeps his pants dry most of the time, now. As in, he's only wet maybe once or twice a week now, and he'll pee in the toilet. He very seldom volunteers to go, though, so we have to prompt him hourly to prevent accidents. He wears normal cotton undies at home, we're trying to get him used to them in the hopes that we'll transition to cotton undies all the time, even out in public. Thankfully, we have wood laminate flooring and vinyl flooring throughout a good portion of the downstairs, and the living room carpet is pretty old already and will be coming out soon (we hope) anyway -- so even when accidents happen, cleaning them up at home is no big deal other than the obvious gross factor. It's just something that we do, like washing dishes or vacuuming.
A still does not have a good control on his rectal sphincter, and commonly streaks in his undies (sometimes with a little extra) throughout the day. Pooping in the toilet is a rare event for us, his muscles just can't seem to do the required pushing all the time. Add in some constipation issues, and it's a recipe for all sorts of bathroom fun. And some occasional fun in other rooms, too. And a lot of laundry. I need to buy stock in the Chlorox corporation, I think I supply a good chunk of their annual profits and want some of it back.
Currently A wears night-time pants (normally used for nocturnal bed wetters) at school and at church, just because he does still have accidents if he's not prompted to go EVERY HOUR. This prompting is not always done by others when we're away from home, so we're trying to save A some embarrassment and prevent teasing or disgust from his classmates. Plus, we don't have enough pairs of pants for him to "go through" each day -- he's only got 5 pairs, total, including jeans and athletic pants. It is much easier on the (overworked) staff to change out underwear designed to hold the mess and keep the outside pants clean, than rinse out cotton undies and multiple pairs of jeans at school. And we can't afford for him to have 4 or 5 different pairs of pants for every day at school.
We still have to give verbal prompts every step of the way: A, go to the bathroom please. Pull your pants down and sit down on the toilet. Wipe your bottom (if needed). Put on your underwear, and then put on your pants. (He likes to strip his bottoms completely to use the toilet). Wash your hands.
We can't give him the entire list of prompts at once; he gets "stuck" on the toilet and waits for a verbal command to wipe his butt, or to put his clothes back on. But he's doing it! The butt wiping is something fairly new that we've been trying, and so far it's had mixed results. A doesn't have good hand dexterity or fine motor skills, so holding toilet paper is difficult for him at the necessary angle to get the job done. He also has a tendency to do some fecal smearing on the walls, his legs, or the toilet seat if he gets any on his hands. It's good that he doesn't want the poop on his hands, but we just haven't been able to convince him to finish up and we'll wash our hands when we finish. (Which we always do anyway).
I usually have to clean up the very last traces that he can't see or reach on his bottom, but he does get most of it cleaned up himself. He also has to clean the "brown artwork", if any, off the walls or toilet seat with a disinfectant wipe. (Again, I generally have to go behind him and finish up). It would be much faster if I did it all for him, but he really needs to learn how to clean up after himself -- and how to do it the right way. Even if it takes a while.
A also still needs help fastening buttons and zippers on his pants. It has not been easy for us to find elastic-waisted jeans for a boy that can wear size 7's in length but is skinny enough for a size 6 -- even slims fall off his butt. I know they're out there, we just haven't found any that work for us yet. So, he wears "normal" zip-fly, button at the waist jeans but has to have assistance getting them on and off. Likewise with the zipper on his winter coat, and tying shoelaces.
A has been doing much better with his writing skills -- he brought home a sheet of paper on Monday that quite legibly said, "I like to read books mommy." I think that one will be kept in a special place, it's the first time we've had anything hand-written that was that clear. He spells things all the time with plastic letters on the fridge, or with the computer, but this is actual writing. With a pencil. His behavior at school is better some days, worse others. A does not like transitions, and he does not like taking turns. Everyone is supposed to do everything in the same order, always, and since A was first at the start of the school year, he still expects to be first to do everything. He's getting educated otherwise, but he's giving the teacher and his aide fits while he's learning it.
I have to be careful with the foods I send for A for his school lunches. Everything needs to be easy to open, and ready to eat. I can't send a whole apple, I have to slice it up and core it or he'll eat the entire thing. I have to cut his sandwich in half to make it easier to pick up, and peel oranges and separate the pieces. If there is a banana, I start the peel at the top so he can grab it and finish. None of those reusable containers work for him, A just can't open them; I use the fold-top plastic sandwich baggies. Not the most environmentally-friendly choice, but it's what needs to happen right now. He does have a reusable thermos for his water, with an easy push-button opening lid.
I still have to cut up his food for him, he can't handle cutting with a knife and fork nor can he just use a fork to cut when necessary. He has gotten a lot better with his spoon usage, he spills very little now. A had a problem with dumping the food halfway to his mouth because he didn't know how to hold the utensils without grasping them completely in his fist, and he'd turn the spoon over trying to get it into his mouth. He still has his textural issues with soups and cereal with milk on it -- he absolutely refuses to eat them. I generally drain as much liquid out of soups as I can before giving him his serving and just give him his cereal dry. He also does not like the flavor of mayonnaise, sour cream or cream cheese (unless it's in a cheesecake) and won't eat certain salads if they look white. This includes tuna, chicken, or fruits. He will eat whipped cream, but usually only if you make him take a bite of it and he figures out that he likes it at that point.
Verbally, we are getting more words out of him than ever before. He saw the leftover snow on Saturday (2 inches) and came up to me late in the afternoon and said, "Red. Boots are red. Put on? Put on green coat. Go outside. Play snow?" Thrilling!!!!!
We don't generally get more than two, maybe three words together at a time. This was a whole paragraph! And yes, we all went outside to play in the snow. A can't make snowballs with his hands, so I have to scoop up some snow and help him form them, hand over hand. He does take great delight in dumping the snow on his sister's head while snickering, so there's something that is refreshingly funny.
We can tell that many of A's brain processes are pretty typical, even if he doesn't talk a lot and has some fine motor skill challenges. He's also got a mischievous streak a mile wide. For example, K fell asleep on the couch yesterday afternoon and A walked over there, looked at her, and began tickling her. She cracked one eye open and screeched, to which A responded with a cocky grin and a chortle. He tickled her again, and K threw out a punch that A dodged easily. Then he whalloped her with a throw pillow. At this point, K is getting more and more upset because all she wants to do is take a nap. A and K got into an all-out fight, complete with feet, pillow whomps, and grappling.
Z and I actually stood back and watched it for a minute before splitting the would-be WWE contenders up, just to revel in the weirdness of what would usually be considered the normalcy for siblings. We stood at the doorway so we could duck out of sight and crack up when we needed to. And of course we stepped in when it became apparent that the kicks and pillows were becoming a tad more forceful and the expressions on both kids' faces started becoming more...determined. I didn't want a UFC experience in my living room, so they were quickly sent to opposite ends of the room to cool off.
Another new development is A's radio. Z's parents got a small CD player/radio for A's birthday, and he loves it. I've taught him how to turn it on, and how to push "play". We haven't quite gotten how to change out CDs yet, but that will come. He listens to his radio all the time. This is great! I'm hoping to get him used to headphones, so we can take a walkman or something with us when we're out around a lot of people. (Shoot, do they even MAKE walkmans any more? We'll get whatever the current thingamabob is. I-Pod?) If we've got music, maybe he won't freak out so much at events like, well, going to the mall.
I know a lady with a 12-yr-old son on the spectrum, and this really works well with her son. She's happy because she can go shopping or take the family to the park for Independence Day, and he doesn't freak out as long as they have his music going. They do take a lot of extra batteries, just in case. We're going to give it a try with A, I just have to figure out how to get him used to headphones. And I also have to find some that are durable enough to withstand A ripping them off initially. Forget the earbuds, we just need the old-fashioned on-ear kind.
I don't know if this would work on an airplane? I know you have to turn off certain electronics for take-off and landing, but don't know if an I-pod would be on that list. I haven't flown in years, so some research is in order. Z and I have been discussing vacation times and seeing family, which are spread from CA to TX to GA. We'd have more visiting time and less travel time if we flew rather than drove, but I really don't know how A would react to the noise and being in close confines with a lot of people. That's at least a year out at this point so we've got plenty of time to figure it all out.
Bottom line is, we're making progress every day. The storms are still there, but we're seeing those gorgeous rays of sun break though at the most unexpected times, and we're enjoying getting to know our son every day.
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