A Little Extra Protein

I am not overtly frou-frou girly about much. Oh, I have my moments; I paint my toenails in the summer, and have recently started enjoying some different types of jewelry in addition to wearing my wedding rings (which is generally my only adornment). But I don't wear make-up most of the time, my usual "uniform" is either jeans and a t-shirt, or jeans and a sweatshirt, hair in a ponytail, and Birkenstocks. I catch snakes and lizards, am not scared of mice, and used to enjoy studying martial arts prior to a nasty car accident that has rendered my right hip largely immobile beyond normal walking angles.

But there is one thing....I am inexplicably freaked out by spiders and bugs. It is a true phobia -- most especially of spiders and, wait for it -- grasshoppers. Yes, grasshoppers. Completely unfounded, and ridiculous, really, but there you have it. I am terrified of them. I have thrown up when one landed on me. I know in my head that this makes no sense whatsoever, but I have never been able to even let a ladybug or firefly land on me.

Ironic, since I love gardening.

I know that bugs and spiders play a valuable role in just about everything on the planet -- not only are they part of the food chain for fish, birds, etc., but they also help break down rotting vegetation, aid in the spread of seeds and pollination itself, and some are "good" predators that keep the bad ones off of your flowers and produce. I just can't stand the little crawly things. I can look at them, but if they ever land on me, God help them -- and anyone's eardrums in the near vicinity. It is not a conscious thing, but I apparently emit a shriek loud enough and high enough in pitch to start all the neighborhood dogs up in a barking frenzy.

So, imagine my delight in discovering a little surprise in my breakfast yesterday. My husband made oatmeal and dumped some frozen blueberries into it...but didn't check over the berries or rinse them before dumping them into the oatmeal. Things were going well with the breakfast until I went crunch on something. "Hmmm," I thought, "those blueberry seeds are harder than usual...and --long? What the--?" and spit out a piece of shell, complete with leg. The rest of the bug that was left came out quickly.

I don't know if I'll be able to eat oatmeal for a while now.... I know there are many cultures worldwide that consider certain bugs to be something of a delicacy, and who eat them with great relish and don't generally die from ingesting them. However, the culture I was raised in is not one of the aforementioned ones, and this combined with my phobias just about did me in yesterday.

Let this be a lesson to always, always rinse and pick over any produce before ingesting it. Eschk!